Writing has been nonexistent for the past six weeks. I didn’t mean to stop and I wasn’t trying to lose my momentum. I wrote my way through January, 500 words at a time. That month I only missed a couple of days, but I set aside blogging during the process. I guess I needed time to write privately and figure out the obstacles life had thrown at me.
Sometimes I can work through challenges and continue to write. But this time felt different. I was overwhelmed and I couldn’t keep up with daily tasks and weekly responsibilities. So I left the blog for a while.
A few times I thought, “Oh, maybe I’ll try to post a story today. Or link up with the Five Minute Friday community again.” And I quickly let the thought go.
I couldn’t find the words.
I didn’t know how to continue.
My body and brain were worn out.
I had lost a sense of direction.
And fears were growing again.
I have been stuck before. But this time my body was also against me. Tiredness took over physically, emotionally, and spiritually. My motivation to push ahead disappeared for a while.
It has been hard to see everyday joys and remember to live boldly and bravely. When I stopped writing, I also put away courage. I forgot God is with me no matter what. I may not always feel His presence or see His good gifts in my path.
Yes, I am still tired and in the middle of a rest season, but it is time to keep going and pick up the pieces of my story I do know, the parts I can understand. Slowly my eyes are opening and my heart is aware. I am starting to see again. I have caught sight of the joys around me.
My nephew came to visit at the beginning of last week. He is young and so full of life. As he ran around the house exploring, he scattered joy around every corner. As he spoke our names, my parents and I gladly answered. And as he chatted the hours away, we listened, joined the conversation, and taught him new words.
Those two days with my nephew stirred up reminders of God’s goodness and I am thankful. I was even inspired to write the following poem, especially after I missed the sounds of my nephew breaking the silence of an ordinary day.
on the wood floors
with every new word
up down up
to any familiar face
until the end of day