I read your letter recently and I’m encouraged by your words. I pull it out on occasion to remember that you are cheering for me, that you need my story, that you long for me to pick up my role and see how I fit in THE Story. Every day.
You hope we will all realize our potential and the beauty of pursuing dreams. If we don’t take our places in the world, who will? Who can chase that dream and offer that perspective? Who can live in that house on that street and love those neighbors? No one, except you and me.
And lately, I have let you down. Yes, I have been posting words on my blog every week, but I haven’t always given you my full heart. I have allowed fear to take over. Fear tries to steal my sense of what is real, true, and right.
Sometimes I still call myself a “new writer” and the other night I said, “Oh, I’m just practicing.” There is truth in my statement. I am practicing. But there is more. More to the list of things holding me back.
I find discouragement and weariness where bravery should burst forth.
I feel doubts rising and questions beginning to form, replacing my joy.
I wonder what I’m doing and where I’m really going with this writing.
I wrestle with the creativity process and the very calling God has planted in me. The more I write, the more I feel a steady anxiousness growing inside of me. Should the excitement of doing a new thing last? Should feelings sustain me for the path ahead?
I was wrong about the journey. There will be hard days and I will often not have clarity. But God will reveal the next step after I have completed the first. I will keep going slowly because I refuse to give in to any of these struggles. Maybe one day I will see more than I do in this moment.
Fear may have stolen my heart and my motivation temporarily, but fear does not own me. I will do what I can to find the words over and over until my task is complete and God calls me to a different pursuit. He is writing a Good Story and we are invited to join. We are the characters. Let’s live a better story together.
So please, be patient. Bear with me. I promise I will continue and hold my pen even tighter and write the kind of words that matter. I will write for you, just as much as I will write for myself. My story is important and I want to tell it well – with love and care – and because you, my friends, are worth it.
Until next time-